My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas, my house is a mess, my hair needs a trim and I have no marketable skills: It's fun here, you'll see!

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Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at theproductivecough@gmail.com

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April 7th, 2015

The Dog Park

Now that I have Ira, I spend a great deal of time trying to make him tired. Because he is a puppy, which means that most of the time, he is flying around the room with his mouth open, destroying my furniture, my peace of mind and my relationships. Thank god for the dog park. There, […]

March 25th, 2015

New Man

Changes, y’all. You may notice that my little bio there on the upper left no longer says “I wish I had a dog.” That’s because, folks, I now have a dog. I give you Ira.   Ira, the cricket hunter, the sleeping champion, the scavenger of discarded baked goods. This little begetter of soft stools […]

March 23rd, 2015

This One Time, At Clam Camp

If you’ve ever spent any time in my house, or around my garbage cans, you know that I’m really into art and marine life. I draw a LOT of pictures of fish and crabs and what have you. It’s kind of a meditative thing for me once I get going and I can do it […]

March 28th, 2014


The other day, I was happily carrying out some research tasks for my writer boss when she shot me an additional email: “Oh, and I also need some names for some characters.” I know what you might be thinking. Um, pardon us, madam, but isn’t, like, naming characters the easiest part of writing? Look at me. […]

November 24th, 2013

My Personal Hell

People often ask me, “Liz, is it hard being such a pillar of domestic excellence all the time?” To which I reply: Why yes, that IS a Venetian mask resting on a pile of clothing that sits atop a suitcase full of scarves next to my detritus-laden bed. Thank you so much for asking.   Bookmark […]

November 16th, 2013


We all need a little help navigating our world every now and again. We need to know where to park, where not to throw our used paper goods and what kind of wildlife to beware of in a given location. The only way to do this without involving other, inevitably tiresome humans, is with signage. […]

September 13th, 2013

Adventures in Dining Alone

A couple of evenings ago, I had the pleasure (yes, that’s right) of eating alone in a restaurant. I’ve mentioned it before, but my recent turn as a nomad has taught me to enjoy dining solo at new establishments. Usually I like to eat at the bar and chat with whoever’s there. This particular night, […]

July 16th, 2013

Morning Commute

Here is a conversation I’ve been having a lot recently: Friend: Hi Liz. I see your goiter is reducing. That’s nice. How’re things? Liz: Oh, thank you so much for noticing. Yes, the leeching has been going really well. Besides that… let’s see. Oh! Well, I started a new job about a month ago. Friend: […]

July 7th, 2013

Yes, You TOO Can Dance!

Hey folks! Wanna learn how to dance? I mean, really dance? I’m not talking waltzing, or tango, or any of that other nonsense they teach you at the community center. I mean, really get the hell down with your bad self? Then take a cue from the following music video. Because, guys, the back up […]

June 20th, 2013

The Update You Don’t Need

So, where have I been, and what have I been doing, none of you asked. Well, I’ll tell you! First, I was working. A lot. Which sounds worse than it actually was– I loved my job and the people (especially the people, my god!) and how I got a paycheck and how my commute was […]