This particular vehicle had none of the typical stickers, but rather a line of about eight of the same sticker which read, “My Child Has Perfect Attendance at Somethingorother Elementary School!”
Instead of making this parent look like a success, this sticker, unfortunately, just makes the parent seem like a raging attendance tyrant. “Mom, I’m barfing a lot, and I have this gaping head wound.” “Too bad, Janet! You’re going to learn FRACTIONS. Now get in the mini-van before I hit you with this roux whisk!”
I don’t have a way to end this, except to ask: Why aren’t there any really good stickers? You know, ones that say, “My daughter ate 6 quarts of 5-Alarm Chili at the 11th Annual Wilson High Chili Cook-Off!”
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Speaking from my own experience it’s the kids that want to see those “My kid made the Honor Roll at…” or “Was student of the month at …”. I don’t like stickers on my cars and we managed to make everybody happy by taping them to the inside of the rear window of my wife’s car. After a couple of months the kids didn’t notice when they were gone.
I agree it’s the kids that want them up there, they’re handed these things at school and it’s like hanging an A+ on the fridge, they want to see that their parents are proud of them.
But the absolute best bumper sticker I ever saw was “My kid has more chromosones than your honor student!”
Then in small print it noted the down syndrome awareness club or something. Hardest I ever laughed at a stoplight!
And I laughed at the one that said ‘My hockey player can beat the crap out of your Honor Student.’