So you’ve got the gals coming over for sewing club, or whatever the hell it is you use as an excuse for drinking, and you’re a little concerned. The last couple of times you hosted it at your place, it didn’t seem like your guests were terribly interested in the food. So what to do?

You need to up the wow factor, Drinky! Plating your food attractively is nice, but it doesn’t pack enough of a punch. What would really help is if you could surround your food with little details that say, “Come on, try me. I’m fun.”

And that can be easily accomplished with faux-food sculptures!

Like what if you put this gentleman with his red pepper hat and carrot mittens, in front of your platter of cheeses?

“Hello! Welcome!”

How could anyone say no to that green face that is supposed to be made of cucumber I guess?

The answer to that is, of course, the same people that would be unable to resist the tasty treats being endorsed by this mutated squash swan.

“I have pea arms!”

What a brilliant idea! And you know, I think this would make a lovely wedding centerpiece.

Hey! For the kid’s table (since I know your boozey pals like bring their kids to these things), how about this nice egg penguin thing?

“Mama, I have to go bubble.”

Actually, his eye-spacing might traumatize the kids. It would be best to leave them at home.

And finally, for dessert, the highlight of any food spread, you really need something splashy. It is critical your guests realize that THIS is IT. This is freaking DESSERT, dammit. And it’s going to blow your mind. What better way to express that than with:

“Herrrrrrrrnk!”

A yam seal. With a radish ball.

I’m telling you, your drinking parties will not be complete until you invest in some of these bad boys.

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