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January 21st, 2011

I Named Him Super Head

The Players: HUMANE SOCIETY LADY, a helpful non-profit worker.

PAUL, a do-gooder.

FORTINBRAS ME, a freaked-out animal lover.

The Scene: Mid-day on a Saturday. Paul and I were sitting in the car. Paul was dialing the Humane Society and I was listening in, wringing my hands with anxiety.


Humane Society Lady: Hello?

Me (quietly): Oh God. Something’s going to eat him. He’s going to die.

Paul: Hi. We’re calling about a, um, rabbit, that’s just wandering around on the street here.

Superhead 2

Me (very quietly, into my hands): Cars! A CAR WILL HIT HIM.

Humane Society Lady: Uh huh… What color is it?

Super Head 9

Me (loud whisper): Tell her it’s all white.

Paul looked at me like I was an idiot. Because, I mean, I pretty much was being one.

Paul: It’s all white.

Humane Society Lady: Well, if it’s all white, then it’s probably someone’s pet.

Me (while inhaling): He can’t defend himself!

Super Head 7

Paul: Okay… so what do we do?

Humane Society: Well there’s really nothing… wait, are you by the gym?

Paul: Yes.

Me: YES!

Humane Society: Oh! He just hangs out there. He’s been there for years. But thank you for calling!

Super Head 4


We have a Neighborhood Pet!

Super Head 8

3 comments to I Named Him Super Head

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