I’m moving to a new apartment next week and time is of the essence. So naturally I have been spending all of my free evenings putting things into a box.

Nah, I’m kidding. I’ve been playing my old Nintendo Entertainment System instead.

I have always had a wild love of the Legend of Zelda franchise, which kicked off in the 80’s, when I first began playing video games. Something about those unrecognizable pixel-people, the 8-bit music, and the satisfying sword sound effects make me instantly happier.

However, back then I wasn’t a very coordinated gamer, and my brain wasn’t developed enough to remember where all of the dungeons were. So I never beat it. But this week, 24 years after the fact, adult responsibilities be damned, I have decided to do it. This means that I am discovering things that most of you already knew. Like, for instance, if you buy that blue ring, Link gets a gray outfit instead of a green one! Also, if you get that ladder thing, you can get an extra heart piece on the East side of the map!

But, by far the best thing I’ve learned is that, if you try and enter a dungeon before your character is ready, you get this wonderful message:

I know. I’m late.

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