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February 16th, 2010

How To Train Your Network

Hey. So, like, are the Olympics even happening this year?

Because every time I turn on NBC, it’s either the US Figure Skating Championship (NOT the Olympics) or an infomercial for something called “Mister Steamy.”

Okay, that’s not completely true. A lot of the time it’s a discussion panel featuring past medal-winners sitting in a cozy “living room” set with Bob Costas, talking about how fun it was to be on Dancing With The Stars. Then, when they’ve finished talking about the challenges of learning the Rumba, Bob Costas turns to the camera, and says something like, “All eyes are on the snowboarding competition this week, a sport that’s only been in the Olympics for a few years. But Dreamworks has imagined what it would have been like hundreds of years ago, during the time of the Vikings.” Then, the good folks at NBC roll an ad for the upcoming “How To Train Your Dragon.” (I’ve seen this happen twice already. It’s pretty yucky.)

So, let’s review: We’ve got infomercials, old figure skating competitions, TV dance contests, and shameless plugs for a Dreamworks movie. But no actual Olympics. To be fair, they do a pretty solid chunk (of mostly figure skating) during Prime Time. But, folks, I’m in the same time zone as Vancouver. And heck, the rest of the country’s only a few hours different. Can we get a little live coverage up in this bitch?

NBC, I love the Olympics! Particularly the winter variety, as nearly all participants are precariously balanced on stupid-looking equipment and could, at any second, fall face first into something cold. That, or they’re curling, whatever that is. Basically, NBC, I can’t afford to miss a second, so quit trying to sell me a Mister Steamy and show me some sports!

2 comments to How To Train Your Network

  • Steve the Cat

    Gawd, I soooo know what you are saying. I’ve tried to turn on the Olympics a bunch of times this week and all I ever get is the talking head of Bob Costas or that of a very large woman with a deep voice who looks like a gym teacher (.. a gym teacher from The Isle …).

  • i love to Figure Skate, and this has been my favorite sport ever since i was a kid.`*:

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