Tonight, I am making a ham. A giant, heavy ham. In my cast iron pot from my mom. I will either wind up stuffed full of pig meat and happy, or stuffed full of pig meat and hospitalized with Trichinosis. Either way, you, the reader, will win.
I’ve just placed The Beast into the oven. Now I wait. And while I wait, I must go for a swim, to prepare for the Face Stuffing that’s sure to come in a few hours. Plus, it might be the last time I fit into a bathing suit. (It’s a big ham.)
Goodbye!!
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I don’t do too like ham.