My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas, my house is a mess, my hair needs a trim and I have no marketable skills: It's fun here, you'll see!

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September 2nd, 2009

Chef Liz in: Kill And Eat Your Friends!

I recently purchased several books at a garage sale, because my house wasn’t feeling quite cluttered enough.  One of these books was Sunset magazine’s Barbecue Cook Book from 1979. In it are a variety of meat concoctions designed to impress your 4th of July guests. While flipping through it, I noticed a section on cooking lamb. It offers an eye-catching heading, and a description of the merits of featuring lamb at your next barbecue.

So there are many pros here. It’s tender. It’s juicy. It “has no rival when it comes to barbecuing.” (Sunset magazine’s obviously never had a hot dog, but whatever.) “Chunks” from different parts of the animal can be “threaded on skewers.” It’s excellent for producing an impressive spectacle of a meal, as “whole legs can be boned and butterflied and slow-cooked.”

Hard to believe there could ever be a downside to barbecuing baby sheep parts, right? Well, take a look at the accompanying illustration:

Mehhhhhhhhhhh! Hi, frieeeeend! Can weeeee come to your barbecuuuuuue?

How can you follow a recipe that involves killing something illustrated so adorably on the previous page? Those two little baby lambs, clearly the most tender and juicy of the bunch, are pretty much smiling at you. And the mama sheep stands over her savory and delicious children, head cocked to one side, big, stupid eyes filled with tears, as if to say “Why-y-y-y? Why would you take my baaaaaaabies from meeeee?” Immediately after they were finished sitting for this portrait, Team BBQ from Sunset magazine scooped up the babies and Mama sheep started plotting her violent revenge.

It is now 30 years later. She is prepared to take action. Mama sheep knows what’s up, Sunset magazine. Watch your back.

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