Guys, it’s too hot to be clever. It’s too hot to even sit on the couch. The couch cushions are hot. I’m not kidding- it’s like sitting on the hood of a car. The heat does weird things to an apartment. For one, when I went to put my contacts in this morning, they were hot. When I use the liquid soap in my bathroom, it’s actually a little bit uncomfortable it’s so warm. All of my household items are being heated up- and they’re not even sitting in the sun. It’s just because from how hot the air is in here.

I checked the weather and it’s promising highs in the mid-80s next week. A month ago, this would have pissed me off. Now, I’m counting down the days like it’s Christmas. I don’t know if you know this about me, but when the temperature reaches 86, I start to power down. Right now, I’m at about 52% power. (Earlier it was 40%, but I just had a BLT with avocado, which gave me a 12% boost.)

The bottom line is, I either need an air conditioner or more bacon.

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