My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas, my house is a mess, my hair needs a trim and I have no marketable skills: It's fun here, you'll see!

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June 24th, 2009

Chef Liz in: False Advertising!

In 1966, in apparent response to the war in Vietnam, the Osterizer blender company released its highly unconventional Spin Cookery Blender Cookbook. Inside, among the full colored pictures designed to entice the housewife of the day, is an array of disappointing and, well, yucky recipes for various spreads, sauces and puddings. (Some highlights include “Lobster Spread, Clam Dip, Green Pepper Jelly, and the mysterious Deep Sea Loaf, whose only sea-themed ingredient is one sad cup of flaked tuna fish.)

Now, I ask you this: Aren’t cookbook photos supposed to represent what you, the home chef, will be able to create with the recipes in the book?

Then what’s with this picnic on page 74? I see the good folks who packed this up brought their Osterizer! And they’ve filled it with the ingredients for a Parsley-Radish Butter of some kind, my personal spread of choice for outdoor dining. I see a tuna salad sandwich, an obvious Blender delicacy, but perhaps not my preference for a sun-drenched day in the park. And then there’s the entire turkey, an item not exactly known for its portability. Am I to believe that this whole-roasted foul was not only carted along to the park for the family’s Sunday outing, but was ALSO created in an Osterizer?

Of course not. What we have here is a blatant lie to the housewives of 1966, who must’ve all turned to page 74 and then raced down to Sears to buy the shiny new Giant Osterizer Blender and Oven.

So, in case the concept of blender cuisine wasn’t disgusting enough, before you open up this cookbook, think of the poor women of 1966 who kept giving their families salmonella while trying to recreate the page 74 picnic spread.

5 comments to Chef Liz in: False Advertising!

  • I think we still need to show you the world’s most horrible cookbook that Sarah found, including the Yule Sandwich Log.

  • Toby

    Uh, that’s not a turkey, it’s a chicken. And, I think they are making a pesto sauce.

  • Hm, it would be a kind of weird pesto with a small amount of parsley instead of basil. But it’s definitely a chicken

  • Or perhaps one of those pygmy turkeys

  • Lyn

    We didn’t get a blender until 1967 when a doctor told my mother my sister needed more raw carrots in her diet to deal with a vision issue. My mother promptly whipped up a carroty banana apple juice shake. My father took the first taste and ran for the bathroom to urp it up. Didn’t use it again until we discovered that you could make a similar kind of shake with ice cream, milk and chocolate sauce. This was back in the olden days…prior to smoothies and McDonald’s shakes on every corner. I think I am old……

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