I’m just now realizing how weird it is that I live in a world in which sitting on the couch and watching 36 hours of television counts as being productive, so long as you’re clearing space on your TiVo. Remember when productivity meant a full day’s work, finishing a term paper, or knitting a scarf? Neither do I. Now there’s DVR, Twitter, Facebook, and the Random Band Name Generator. These all need to be updated, organized and maintained. (Well, except the band name thing- but just try it. It’s hard to navigate away.)

In fact, My productivity levels here at work have decreased by about 650,000% this week. Things are packed up and the boss isn’t getting any phone calls. Heck, he’s not even HERE. Lack of productivity makes me feel guilty, so I began making a list of the things I need to do when I’m unemployed and have some time:

*Write music, edit, catch up on a few projects

* Have a cold. (I can feel it a-brewin’!)

*Transcribe some of my neighbors’ fascinating, loud banter, i.e. last night’s conversation with someone named Ed: “Are you coming over tomorrow?” “No.” “Why?” “I got things to do.” “What do you have to do tomorrow?” “Huh?” “What are you doing tomorrow that’s so important?” “What am I doing tomorrow?” “Yeah.” “I got stuff.” “What stuff.” “What stuff?” “Yeah.” “I have a daughter.” “Shut up. Screw you.” Instant Best-Seller?

*Go to tempurpedic store; take nap on floor model

*Perfect steak-cooking skills (although this project may require some capital)

*And, most importantly: Clear out the TiVo. There are 8 episodes of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” that have been sitting there for months. It will feel good to get them taken care of.

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