My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas, my house is a mess, my hair needs a trim and I have no marketable skills: It's fun here, you'll see!

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April 1st, 2009

Chef Liz in: “It’s Perfectly Natural”

I’m sure you’re all aware of the ever-pervasive “Natural” and “Organic” food craze. Personally, I think a little phenylalanine is good for you, and a healthy dose of  insecticide builds character! But, because the hippies and the suits from Whole Foods tell me otherwise, I present to you: Natural Carob Nut Brownies!

For those of you aren’t hip to carob, allow me to explain: Carob is substance that, when ground up, is similar enough to cocoa powder to be used a chocolate substitute in many over-priced “natural” candies and baked goods found at “natural food” stores. The trouble is, there are also some major difference between carob and real chocolate. Well, actually there is ONE major difference, which I have listed here for your convenience:

Carob is NOT chocolate.

Chocolate is a delicious wonderland of antioxidants, simultaneously providing your tongue with stimulating bitter flavors, and smooth sweetness. Carob tastes like the wet, blighted bark of an old dying elm tree.

But is carob more “natural” than cocoa? Both are found in nature, so I don’t really understand how replacing sweet, lovely chocolate with foul, cardboard-y carob is making this recipe anymore natural. It’s an example of Hippie Epicurean Elitism, I tell you!

But, there’s no sense in arguing with them: They’ve got the entire Whole Foods PR Team on their side.

Instead, let us now turn our attention to the ingredient used to top these brownies. I ask you: Is it a walnut?

Or a mouse brain?

Technically speaking, they’re both found in nature, so neither ingredient would be out of place in these brownies.

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