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August 14th, 2008

Am I Right, Girls?

I’ve noticed a trend in commercials for any food product geared toward woman. They always feature a woman indulging in their product, seriously and solitarily. Take Dove chocolate for example. In a typical commercial, a sun dress-clad woman can often be found sitting in a well-appointed bedroom or living room, alone, in a comfortable chair. After a few moments of looking smugly relaxed, she’ll reach for a solitary piece of Dove chocolate and, eyes closed, bite a third of it off, a smile creeping across her lips.

Now, I’m not usually one to go for the “You ladies know what I’m talking about” humor, but seriously. These commercials are crap, and YOU LADIES KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. Have you ever had Dove chocolate? Or any chocolate for that matter? Of course you have. The only time it’s ever eaten timidly and slowly is in the presence of royalty, or a new boyfriend. Otherwise, if you’re a chick, having a relaxing day at home alone, you’re in sweatpants, lying on the couch watching Iron Chef. It is inevitable that you will go for the chocolate, but there is no way that you slowly bite into a single piece. Hell no. You tear into an entire bag of chocolates and cram ’em in, nine at a time, until they’re gone.

While writing this post, I was poking around YouTube to try and find an example of one of these commercials. All I could really find were a few ads from China. I’ve posted one on here that I find particularly weird.

Let’s discuss it, shall we?

First, there appears to be some suggestive material here. The young waiter sees the woman, clearly taken with her beauty. Then, seconds later, we see what can only be described as implied sexual imagery.


The weirdest part, though, is when she bites into the candy, this strange, chocolaty satin monster appears out of nowhere, wrapping itself around her body, preventing her from breathing properly. It encases her, and then moves on to attack the poor young man.

Upon further analysis, however, I have deduced that this silken horror has actually been summoned by the girl to rid her relaxing day of the perverted waiter. Because, if you’re going to have some quality “Me Time,” the last thing you want is some guy watching you chow down on your chocolate.

You ladies know what I’m talking about.

1 comment to Am I Right, Girls?

  • Deb Cole

    I think the chocolaty, satin monster in the Dove™ ad is that film that forms on hot cocoa. I also think Bruce Wayne is The Batman™.

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