I do, occasionally, read the tabloids.
Yes. I know. But sometimes, they’re just there and you’ve got nothing else to read and you’re bored because the doctor’s office told you “2:00” but it’s looking more like it’ll be “4:00” because you have an HMO and you’re not actively bleeding from any alarming wounds… So you’ve got to pass the time with something.
In any case, yes, I read the June 11th, 2007 issue of OK! Magazine. And, aside from the seemingly 3 billion-page spread on American Idol, it seemed like a relatively harmless publication.
And then I got to the picture of Jessica Simpson.
And then I read the caption underneath her picture.
Here is what it said: “On her fan site SweetKisses.net, Jess recently mused that she read a book about Renaissance artist Michelangelo … Though born centuries apart, the two artists are alike: Michelangelo was a poet, and Jess is planning to publish a volume of her poems!”
…
For those of you just joining us, OK! Magazine has just compared Jessica Simpson (you may remember her from the MTV show “Newlyweds,” and from her boobs) to one of the most important artists of the 16th century (you may remember him from, oh, I don’t know… a little thing called the Pietá? Or perhaps the freaking ceiling in the Sistine Chapel?). And they used an exclamation point.
Fun Fact: Someone who writes a blog on a site called SweetANYTHING.net is not going to be an intellectual wonder.
Discussion Question: How does such a person receive a book deal in the first place? How do they write a collection of poems? Order their own take-out? Discuss.
PLEASE give an example of what you think one of her peoms might be like!
Favorite line: “because you have an HMO and you’re not bleeding from more than one hole.”
Yayyyy.
New jessica simpson poem! just came out!
“like, things are nice, and flowers are pretty, and sometimes I like, like to breathe.”