‘Sup?

My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas. My house is a mess, my hair needs a trim and I have no marketable skills: It’s fun here, you’ll see!

Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

Contact Me, Folks!

Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

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July 7th, 2009

Man, This Bear Is Dumb

Now that I’m back in town, there is a pile of mail larger than I care to discuss waiting to be dealt with and about a hundred other things I need to do. So, instead of writing a detailed account of all the wonderful things that happened on my trip, I will post a video that perfectly sums it all up.

It’s a Sloth Bear from the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle playing with the lid of a plastic box. He should hang out with those ducks from Caltech.

June 25th, 2009

Baldric and Balthazar, Episode 1

FunBox Comedy presents the first of many episodes of Baldric and Balthazar, the story of two overly fancy gentlemen from the past who have traveled through time via vortex and now live with Paul. Enjoy!

June 17th, 2009

Warning: This Is Weird

Louis’ graduation was like eight hours long. I took a ton of footage and edited it down into a two and a half minute video. Enjoy:

June 2nd, 2009

A Tuesday Morning Video

GUYS! Normally I would have something super clever to write, but I can’t think of anything that tops this video, so here it is:

May 29th, 2009

For my brother

Louis! Remember how hard we used to laugh at this!??!

MELONHEAD!

April 23rd, 2009

Monday Night’s Gig (Part II)

As promised, today I will explain to you what’s happening here:

Technically, they are my brother Louie, and Vikram Devasthali. But on Monday night, they were known as the Volvo Mafia: “Bringing you music with Swedish style efficiently since time immemorial.”

The Volvo Mafia took the stage after Commando Strike Force and did three hip-hop tunes of their own composition, and one killer cover of Sonny Rollins’ Tenor Madness. I’m not posting all four songs, because I don’t want to drive you away. But I would like to show you two of them if that’s alright. It is? Okay, great.

The first is about Mario Kart:

The other is a Louis Cole classic and is entitled I Will Make You Mine (it features a surprise guest performance by Adam Bravo!):

And that concludes my coverage of something that happened like four days ago. Tomorrow: Adventures in mini-blinds!

April 22nd, 2009

Monday Night’s Gig (Part I)

**For some reason, audio uploads are being glitchy…I am working on fixing the problem

Now that the heat has subsided, I am able to share with you some audio and video from the show my brother put on Monday Night at 2nd Street Jazz in Little Tokyo. When he asked me to sing a couple tunes with him for the first set, I was really flattered. Aside from being an excellent drummer, and a musical innovator, Louie is a very talented composer. But if you didn’t know that already, you haven’t been spending nearly enough time reading this blog.

So, Commando Strike Force (the name my brother gave us seconds before he stepped up to the mic) did three tunes, all of which Louie had written. The first was entitled Big Green Suitcase, and featured a smaller ensemble consisting of Adam Bravo on piano, Louis on drums, and Hans Bernhard on bass. But before we did that, we needed to sound check. “Dude. Sing something,” my brother commanded. I gave him one of my signature blank stares. “Just do Mary Had a Little Lamb. Whatever,” he said. You can hear that went by clicking here:

2nd Street Sound Check

Then the rest of Commando Strike Force got involved. It was Richard Sears on piano, Hans Berhard on bass, Louis on drums, Doug Mosher on clarinet, Sam Gendel on bass clarinet, Vikram Devasthali on trombone, Jon Hansen on tuba and Adam Bravo on harp.

Our second tune was Ghost Story, which has some seriously funny, slightly cryptic lyrics:

Ghost Story 4/20/09

The last tune was something that Louie wrote just last week. It’s entitled Swing and, if you are a music dork like I am, you will probably love it. I have a video of it here. Disclaimer: The quality isn’t very good because it was on a tiny handheld camera in the very dim lighting that 2nd Street Jazz is known for. Also, the video is all weird and stretched out. But you can see my brother standing right behind me, smiling, which is the reason I’m posting the visuals here- I love when Louie is happy.

(Please click the “HQ” icon on the bottom of the video there so you can see it in somewhat better quality)

(Also, don’t make fun of me.)

But that was only the first set. Be sure to tune in tomorrow when I will be explaining THIS:

January 23rd, 2009

It’s Tax Time Again

The only thing more exciting than getting your new issue of Gourmet magazine in the mail is opening it up to the page about 30-minute pork loin recipes and finding your W-2 inside!

That’s right, kids! It’s tax time! Now, back in ought-seven, Turbo Tax held a contest on YouTube: Make a rap about their product! If the YouTube-crazed public liked you, you could win prizes! I can’t remember what the prizes were, because I think they were tax software and maybe like… a stuffed monkey or something. Anyway, it wasn’t important.

David Malloy and I decided to enter the contest, so we wrote a rap starring MY PARENTS- who are incredibly good sports for participating.

So, in honor of W-2s arriving everywhere, I present to you, The TurboTax Rap:

And remember: Always check your food magazines for important legal paperwork.

October 6th, 2008

Avoid Sudden Movements


A Fact About Me: I find shows about beekeeping fascinating. There is a show on RFD, the farming channel (Yeah. I watch it. So?) that comes on about once a year. It features Dr. Keith Delaplane, who may or may not have a hidden stash of dead wives buried underneath his porch. Keith teaches you all you need to know about beekeeping.

But once a year is not enough to satiate my hunger for apiological programming. Thank god for YouTube, and this guy. I love him. Aside from his vast knowledge of bees, he is completely amusing and wacky. To see my favorite video of his, click here. If you need to see more of Crazy Bee Guy, search “ExpertVillage” on YouTube. He has TONS of videos.

June 11th, 2008

When my brother was on tour

My brother’s band, The F3w, spent last summer touring around the west coast. At a gas station, they found a wolf. They brought it with them. It caused trouble. Behold: