My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas. My house is a mess, my hair needs a trim, and I wish I had a dog: It's fun here, you'll see!
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Do you ever wonder things? Do you need help with living? I sure as hell do. That's why I go to Surviving the World each day for a daily lesson. You really should too. I've seen you eat.
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I saw an ad on Facebook for a Beautiful Kid contest. They’re looking for ONLY the cutest kids money can buy. Well, I don’t have a child, and if I did, I certainly wouldn’t enter it into this contest. But, I DO have a picture of the cutest kid of all time: My mom.
This is a picture of her in 1955. She was coming down with the measles. Doesn’t she look profoundly forlorn? That’s her bear there, under the tray. His name is Willard and he has a hard plastic nose. He still lives in her bedroom.
Aside from her expression and messy hair, my favorite part of this picture is how it looks like she’s consuming her tea with a spoon, like it’s soup, because it’s so hot. That is exactly what I used to do when I had tea.
This beauty is the Rio San Gabriel Kindergarten class photo from 1957, which is when my Uncle John attended. That’s him in the third row, second from the right.
I love old photos. Especially ones with people I’ve never met in them. Like this girl:
I call her Triangula. Because of her three distinct “points.” I bet she dominated at kickball, distracting the other children with her unique hairstyle. When she ran home, she’d just smirk at them.
Hey, also: Did the children of Rio San Gabriel realize that they were in school with the Bad Seed?
And then there’s Lil’ Cringey:
His mother should be sternly lectured. The poor kid can’t breathe with all those buttons done up like that. He’s barely able to move his head, let alone give us a genuine smile. Now, Lil’ Cringey sells used furniture out of a warehouse in Garden Grove. He wears a dickey every day to hide the permanent indentation his collars made in his neck flesh.
But don’t worry! Not all stories are sad! Just look at Squinta:
She was teased in school, but later it was discovered that her aerodynamic face was perfect for the luge, and now she has 4 silver medals!
And then there’s this fellow:
He wasn’t great at math. He wasn’t great at spelling. But he grew up and became Peter Lorre.
See, kids! If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything!
Here is a note my mom found while going through some old things.
Louis wrote this to me while my family was staying on Monterey on vacation. I don’t recall what was going on, but whatever it was, it was life-threatening and required that we take up smoking.
Sunday was Mother’s Day and ALSO the anniversary of my mom’s birth. So, to celebrate, and also to thank her for all of the fantastic cakes she’s made Louis and me in the past, we made HER a cake.
Coming up with a cake theme for a refined woman such as my mother is never easy. For us kids it’s a cinch. Clowns, Tron, cats that speak incorrectly. We’re usually into something pretty stupid. But mom? She paints, she cooks, she dances hip hop. She’s a classy broad. So, what could we do that perfectly spoke to all of her many interests, and highlighted her as a human being?
Hey guys! Louis and Genevieve are at it again. This time, it’s a fantastically creative cover of Justin Bieber’s “Baby.” I particularly like the headgear they’ve selected. Enjoy, everyone!
(It does not feature Ludacris, but it does feature editing by me.)
This weekend was my 26th birthday which marks y 26th birthday cake. In my family, this celebratory confection is always an event. Last year, I documented the cake that almost wasn’t, due to a kitchen remodel and a lack of time. This year, though, things were back to normal. Mother presented me with a beautiful LolCats cake! If you’ll recall, I’m not too big a fan of cats, or LolCats. Both categories of feline really just baffle me. I’m not a fan of Peeps, either, but they manage to wind up on my cake each year. We’re fans of confronting one another with undesirable objects to show our admiration.
In all it’s glory, I present The LolCats Cake, by Debra:
I was very impressed with her grasp of the I Can Has Cheezburger lingo. Also, it was tremendously delicious.
HOW DOES IT KNOW!?!?!?!?!?
I call her Triangula. Because of her three distinct “points.” I bet she dominated at kickball, distracting the other children with her unique hairstyle. When she ran home, she’d just smirk at them.
He wasn’t great at math. He wasn’t great at spelling. But he grew up and became Peter Lorre.
