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My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas. My house is a mess, my hair needs a trim and I have no marketable skills: It’s fun here, you’ll see!

Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

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Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

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August 9th, 2011

The Seagull

 

Pesky Seagul 3

“Wow!” I bet you’re saying. “What a fantastic photograph. Clearly that $56,000 camera was worth it!”

Aww, shucks, people. Thanks! I took this lovely photo on a boat tour to the Golden Gate Bridge during my recent vacation. I had such a great time! And don’t you just love that little seagull? Look at his little face and his little feet! Isn’t the whole thing just so tremendously pleasant? Well, isn’t it?

NO IT IS NOT FUCKING PLEASANT.

Here is why:

When I took this photo, I was not using the zoom function. This seagull was RIGHT THERE. Right above my head. He was following our boat because some idiots were holding snacks up in the air for him to grab. Let’s be clear: I’m all for feeding animals. I love to watch critters eat. But I am not in favor of having what is essentially a pooping machine flapping around right above me and my $56,000 camera.

And my dislike was not unjustified.

Pesky Seagul 2

Shortly after this photo was taken, he peed on us, the little charmer.

2 comments to The Seagull

  • You should see the droppings from the Great Blue Herons here at the harbor. If they could train those birds they could paint the stripes on the roads.

  • Lyn

    Reminds me of the time we were visiting Disney World with our then three year old charmer. Hubby used his newly purchased – and much beloved – all leather Indian Jones hat to shoo away a flock of gulls from the path between Frontier Land and Tom Sawyer Island. Birds promptly returned and pooped on his hat. WONDERFUL memory….and the most distinct one the kidd has from that trip.

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