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My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas. My house is a mess, my hair needs a trim and I have no marketable skills: It’s fun here, you’ll see!

Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

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Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

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May 27th, 2010

Regrettable Childhood Antics, Part III

By now I’m sure you’re getting that I was a weird child. I started to realize it around the fifth grade. Rather than attempt to fit in, I embraced my strangeness in an almost boastful manner.

I liked to try and freak people out with my loud proclamations about my offbeat nature. It was almost a kind of test- you either understood and played along or you weren’t the sort of person I wanted to spend my time with.

A good example of this was the time I announced to my friend Jason the following things:

1) I was from another planet called the Brain Planet. It looked like a brain. It was an extra weird place where cool but bizarre people lived. I came to Earth to go to school. My Earth name was Liz.

2) My real name was Sushi. Actually, my full name was Sushi Spam Barf.

Yes, that’s right. If I were to sign checks on the Brain Planet, I would sign them Sushi S. Barf.

It was a pleasant surprise when Jason laughed and then drew me a full page picture of the Brain Planet, and started re-introducing me to my classmates as Sushi Spam Barf.

Jason was an enabler.

3 comments to Regrettable Childhood Antics, Part III

  • Karen

    Haha! I like your “real” name. When I was 7 or so, I decided to rename myself Wong Fu. I think I was going for some sort of martial arts angle, but it was also the name of a nearby restaurant. I started signing my school papers “Wong Fu Hall,” and I remember one of the teacher’s aids pulling me aside to confirm my identity…

  • MBPB

    When I was a kid, I went into a local toy store. You know, the tiny kind, not the super-mega-conglomerate-owned warehouse. It was called “Henry Bear’s Park”. I was 9. I got the attention of the lady behind the counter. The owner, as it turns out. I was banned from ever entering the store again… Oh, yeah…Here’s why – I got her attention and immediately dropped on the floor and started foaming at the mouth and flopping all around like a fish. I thought It might be cool to see how she’d react to a kid having a seizure. She wasn’t pleased…

  • Liz

    Wong Fu Hall!!!!! I am so jealous of that name!!!

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