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My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas. My house is a mess, my hair needs a trim and I have no marketable skills: It’s fun here, you’ll see!

Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

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Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

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January 7th, 2010

Pack Ratery

I’m trying to clean up my apartment a little bit today. I usually do this to some degree after Christmas. The goal is to make room for my newly acquired crap by getting rid of some old crap. It’s that last part that’s tricky- I will hold onto something that I really don’t need for fear that as soon as it exits the apartment I may require it for a project I’m working on. Or, it could suddenly become a hot item to own. Or, I might see it on “Antiques Roadshow!”

Yes, it takes some effort for me to fill trash bags up with junk. Why just earlier today I came across an envelope from the now defunct Washington Mutual that had an old Starlight mint stuck to it, and, not gonna lie, it took me a minute to part with it. “This could eventually be considered art,” I thought to myself. “Or the envelope could become a collector’s item!” Amazingly, I stuffed it into the bag anyway. Good for me!

When it comes to this kind of Advanced Pack Ratery, there are two kinds of people: The ones that understand my plight (hi, mom!), and the ones who are, at this very moment, shaking their heads as if to say, “Golly Liz, you sure are dumb!” Oh, is that what you think? Well, allow me to show you some of the difficult decisions I’ve had to make today.

First we have this foam ring unit.

Who knows? One day I may need to separate two CDs suspended on a chopstick. Or I might have an art project that requires such a piece of detritus. But, I made the hard decision and tossed it into the bag. Then I found this empty Jones Sours tin.

Talk about possibilities! I could put rolled up dollar bills in there! Or use it as an instrument. Or put that foam ring inside to pad quail eggs! But, since I’ve thrown the ring away, and I don’t know where I’d find quail eggs, I might as well get rid of this beautiful piece of junk too.

Next up…

Alright, give me some credit. Even I know there aren’t many uses for this old gum. But, I found it under some old junk mail, which means it’s been around for awhile, taking up space. I’m not well.

Portuguese flashcards?! No way am I getting rid of these! I need them so I don’t forget how to say “cheap” (that’s “barato/a,” in case you care).

I’m also not getting rid of this little beauty:

Light up spoon that came in specially marked boxes of… something to promote the fourth “Indiana Jones” movie? PRICELESS. Fun Fact: It lives in one of the three (3) pencil cups on my desk. (Writing implements are valuable!)

Finally we have this mystery power adapter:

I do not know what it is for. But I do know that it is dusty. Very, very dusty. Maybe I’ll keep it, just in case. …

No? FINE. I’ll toss it.

Maybe. (Help me…)

3 comments to Pack Ratery

  • Steve the Cat

    I can’t BELIEVE you’re throwing away the foam ring unit !!?

  • Don’t throw away the dusty power converter…you can never have too many of those.

  • Christy

    My mother and I saved an episode of Hoarders that we are watching weekly to try to horrify us into not being crazy. In it this woman is surrounded by piles of stuff in her house such that she has only a small pathway and room to seat 1 person at the kitchen table that is not filled floor to ceiling with stuff. Her husband has to eat at the other end of the pathway on the bed. The rest of the house aside from these two seating areas and connecting pathway is floor to ceiling piles of stuff. The therapist pulls a jar from a box of like 20 jars she finds in the rubble and asks why the lady needs it. The lady said she might make soup in it one day. The therapist pulls a nearly identical jar from the box and asks what that one is for. The lady said she might store some paint in it one day. The therapist asks why the lady couldn’t just buy a jar in the event she may need to make soup one day, and the lady said it would be a waste. The therapist asks why she couldn’t keep one jar to use for the paint or the soup, why there had to be separate ones, and the lady said “because you can’t use the same jar for soup that you do for paint” and eyes the camera as if the therapist was out of her mind for suggesting it. Meanwhile a kitty cries out from behind the towers and something crashes. The lady made a lot of sense to me. 🙁 I’m scared.

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