I’ve got an ant infestation in my apartment. After a few days of squishing them, spraying ‘em with hairspray, and yelling at them, I broke down and bought some ant traps. Supposedly, these things masquerade as delicious sustenance, which the soldier ants carry back to the colony for the others, including the queen, to feast upon. Then, they all kick the bucket. It’s like one of those weird suicide cults, only nobody knows they’ve joined.

I don’t know much about colony politics, but I do know this: If you’re the poor soldier ant that brings that crap for the queen to eat, you are so fired.

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