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My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas. My house is a mess, my hair needs a trim and I have no marketable skills: It’s fun here, you’ll see!

Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

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Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

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September 9th, 2009

A True Story of a Man and His Eggs

As reported by Jonathan Feldman.

A man and his wife are sitting at Mel’s diner eating breakfast.  Their waiter approaches the table to check up on their meal.  The man speaks, with the accent of a complaining Jewish version of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“Excuse me, these eggs are runny.  And this bread has caroway seeds, I can’t eat caroway seeds.”

“Ok sir, so do you want your eggs over medium?”

“Well these are runny, so they need to be done again.”

“Ok sir, and rye bread.”

1 minute passes.

“They didn’t even ask me what kind of bread I wanted.”

5 minutes pass.  The eggs and bread come back.

Picking up a slice of breads with his fingers, he asks, “Now what kind of bread is this?  The other one had caroway seeds, and I don’t like caroway seeds.”

“This is the rye sir.”

“Well is that the same as before?”

“Yes.”

“Then I don’t want it.”

Two minutes pass.

“She took my bacon.”

And scene.

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