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My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas. My house is a mess, my hair needs a trim, and I have no marketable skills: It's fun here, you'll see!

Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

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May 4th, 2009

Chef Liz in: Try Something Else

So, Wilma, it’s your turn to whip something up for your Ladies’ Book Club this Thursday, is it? I understand how that could be stress-inducing, what with Gertrude being such a picky eater, and Carol having issues with tree nuts. Not to mention how you’ve always thought your friends were huge, fat pigs and shouldn’t be eating Steak Diane every night. So, now the trick will be finding a dish they’ll be willing to shovel into their giant faces that won’t add to their overall girth. What’s that? You’ve selected a dish? Oh, do share it with us!

Weight Control Chicken Salad!? Well, Wilma, I see a few problems with this.

First, many of these ingredients sound harmless on their own. But how about the combination of low-fat cottage cheese and powdered instant chicken broth?  Buttermilk and radishes? I don’t know if that kind of potential dyspepsia is worth the mere 200 calories per serving.

Also, you may notice that the only piece of kitchen equipment you need is a blender, a frightening prospect, since most things that are made in a blender end up looking like vomit. This is no exception:

And your choice of garnish seems to say “Are you really going to eat all that, Porko?” Seriously, any dish tied up with a tape measure virtually guarantees you a spot on your friends’ shit list.

Weight Control Chicken Salad? No thank you. I’d rather be confined to a wheel chair in my old age than eat this crap.

3 comments to Chef Liz in: Try Something Else

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