April 27th, 2009

Walk Softly And Carry A Big Rattle

This weekend, while exploring the Mission District of South Pasadena, I came across this haunting message in the window of a store:

Needless to say, I was troubled. The lack of capitalization, the ellipsis, the two sad balloons. This was obviously a warning, but it left a lot to the imagination. Did it refer to an army of demon babies, akin to the ones found in the “It’s Alive” series, coming to kill us all (starting with the folks at Planned Parenthood)? Maybe it was a tip-off about an evil plan by the drug companies to suddenly make all of their birth-control products entirely ineffective? Or maybe it was simply an advertising ploy to get people to purchase babies.