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My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas. My house is a mess, my hair needs a trim and I have no marketable skills: It’s fun here, you’ll see!

Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

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Got a question, comment, proposal of marriage? Great! Email me at liz@theproductivecough.com

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April 20th, 2009

Bloated

Know what’s disappointing? When you go to Quizno’s and order what you think is going to be a light menu choice, and then get home and find out it has almost 800 calories in it.

Oven-roasted Turkey & Cheddar sounds reasonable. Firstly, it’s turkey, so the fat content and cholesterol level should be fairly low. Also it’s roasted in an oven, not fried in a pan, not batter-dipped, not injected with Crisco. Yes, there is cheddar cheese, and some mayonnaise- but how is it 800 calories!? (This is the point where my dad would chime in with, “It’s probably the bread. That’s pretty high-calorie.” Hush, father. No one likes a show off.)

The man at the Quizno’s counter was so friendly. He even remembered what kind of cheese Paul had ordered when we were in on Saturday. How could such a nice man be selling these horrible calorie bombs? It feels like the time I found out that the grilled chicken salad I’d been ordering at Corner Bakery had over 900 calories in it. NINE HUNDRED. And I’d been eating it twice a week for like six months. Part of me wants all restaurants to disclose which items on the menu are healthy, and which are just healthy-sounding. But the other part of me knows what it feels like to order a “Weight Management” salad from The Cheesecake Factory.

According to my calorie calculator, to reverse the damage I just did, I would need to spend almost two hours in the pool. And I’ve got to sing tonight- I don’t have that kind of time.

2 comments to Bloated

  • Toby

    You have a fucking calorie calculator? You need to loosen up.

  • Surfer Liz

    They need to go New York style and have all the calorie info on the food pictures. It helps. Then again imagine the calories in the non healthy options. I’m thinking we’ll get to that 90% obesity mark soon, go AMERICA!

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