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My name is Liz. I need direction. I overuse commas. My house is a mess, my hair needs a trim, and I wish I had a dog: It's fun here, you'll see!

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June 24th, 2006

Tonight only! Dennis Miller at the Comedy Trough!


Current Soundtrack: My dog snoring.

Christy and Avaryl and I went to the Canyon Club this evening to see Dennis Miller perform. That man is a genius with the English language- smart, eloquent, with a smattering of F-bombs. He also happens to be one of the most attractive men on the planet. As soon as he strode out on stage in his jeans and sport coat and began delivering those trademark sarcastic, poignant run-on sentences, I forgot all about all of the discomfort (both physical and financial) the evening had brought.

It was $90 all told, I think. A ridiculous chunk of change for someone in my current Life Stage. But well worth it- the food really was delicious, and we all know how I feel about Dennis. I have renamed the Canyon Club the “Comedy Trough,” as a tribute to the perpendicular, Last Supper-style seating that had been set up for our enjoyment. There were, I believe, about 649 people per long table. Luckily, we were right next to the stage, so we didn’t have to compete for a view. But that didn’t change the fact that every minute was a battle for elbow room. The rows of tables and chairs were so close together that, unless you model haute couture for a living, just trying to find your seat was a meet-and-greet. (”Hi, yes. So sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. Thanks. Hi. Thanks. Hi. Sorry. Thanks.”) I haven’t had that much polyester-clad ass meat touch my head since that slumber party I went to at Elton John’s. (Note: That never happened)

In addition to the too-tight seating arrangements, the three of us happened to be seated next to two gaunt and be-turquoised lesbians. What they were doing at a Dennis Miller show is beyond me. Every time they laughed at a joke, a guilty look would spread across their faces. And when Dennis started talking about environmental issues, they just sort of glared. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it- they may have just been friends, or a mother and daughter … Christy and I were very confused.

The car trip home was a thirty minute collective squeal. Christy pointed out earlier in the evening: “We’re like those girls on the Ed Sullivan show when Elvis was on. Only it’s Dennis Miller.” I’d say that’s fairly accurate.

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